Ooc: shopping is fucking tiring
Ooc: photo quality sucks but look! ariana becomes a girl :p
FEEELLS
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The End Where I Begin || Mark & Kristen
One step. Two steps. Three steps. Kristen looked down on her feet, counting her steps, trying to keep herself calm. She didn’t want to look around, knowing that her mind liked to play tricks on her and she would see him behind every tree. A small smile crept over her lips as she figured that she had to take almost two or three steps when Mark only did one. The only thing that kept Kristen away from going insane were Mark’s sweater, she loved so much and his hand in hers, though she probably hurt him by holding it that tightly. She was glad that he didn’t try to start a conversation, being happy to concentrate only on her boyfriend’s hand and the scent of his sweater.
As they finally reached town, Kristen felt a bit better. She had more control over her own body and breathing and sent her thanks to Josh in mind once more, helping her to figure out how to breathe best with the healing rib. Kristen’s thoughts wandered back to Mark, still having no idea where he wanted to go with her and even more important, who they were going to visit. She looked over to her boyfriend and could see how nervous he was, she softly touched his shoulder with her free hand, trying to make him realize that she was there. That’s when he pulled her with her, sitting down on a bench in the park. Confused, the girl looked around but only figured that this was not his destination, this was the preparation. As he looked at her with these sad eyes and kissed her hands, she couldn’t stop herself but praying please don’t break up with me please don’t break up with me please don’t break up with me. But then she heard Lily’s name and looked up again. He went on talking and there was no way to deny that this was something serious, this was something he hard to do. “Hey,” Kristen whispered and lightly touched his knee, “just tell me, it’s going to be alright.” And then she saw him shaking his hand, taking a deep breath and speaking the unspeakable out.
Kristen felt like someone had punched her in the stomach. Cancer. Let’s add it to the list of horrible things that seemed to be following them. She wanted to throw up or kick a bin or cry…yes, crying would be great now. Get yourself together- you need to be there for him, this is not about you. Kristen swallowed hard and was scared to look into his eyes, look into the eyes of a broken man. Everything made sense now. And still nothing made sense if thirteen year old girls were dying. She felt his hand letting hers go but was too shocked to even think of Ben. What was there left to do? She was no help, she was not a doctor and couldn’t even bring out a word to help her boyfriend who seemed to be very close to tears or anger or just a mixture out of million emotions. Lily was the one girl that meant more to him than anyone ever could- and he was going to lose her. There are no words to make such things better and there are no actions either. But when you love someone, you try it. When you love someone you would rather die than seeing them hurt. And as Kristen were staring at Mark, she knew that he would rather die himself than letting this little girl die from cancer. The emotion of his pain suddenly hit her, and she shook her head, trying to clear her head until she realized that there was only one thing to do. When you love someone, you try. “Baby,” she whispered, heard her voice break and coughed a few times, before she moved as close as possible next to Mark. “Baby, you don’t need to do anything of this on your own. You’ve got me. You’ll always have me. And we are going to visit her now and I’m going to be the strong one, okay?,” she let her finger wander over his cheeks, trying to calm him down with that gesture, “you are allowed to be the weak one today. You are allowed to be a teenager today. You are allowed to be a broken boy. And I’m going to be strong for the both of us. Mark,” she lifted his chin and turned his face into her direction, “we are going to do this. And you won’t need to do any of this alone. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” She kissed him quickly and got on her feet, offering him her hand. “Come on, let’s go. I want to pay a visit to someone very special.”
Mark looked up at her with watery eyes, taking a deep breath as he nodded and took her hand, pulling her close to kiss her softly before starting to walk towards the hospital. He held her hand tightly as they walked, knowing that this was probably going to be the toughest thing he ever did. He let out a long breath as they approached the hospital, already feeling his nerves go crazy. Mark closed his eyes as he felt Kristen squeeze his hand lightly, looking to her for reassurance. “Thank you, for being with me.” He kissed her forehead lightly before leading her inside, moving towards the room that he had saw his parents visit a week before. Mark felt like time was standing still as his hand rested on the door knob, looking around the hallway ro find it empty. He opened the door slowly, his heart stopping at the sight in front of him.
“Mark! Mark look what I can do!” Mark turned around and laughed as he watched Lily run around the yard doing cartwheels. He clapped his hands as he set down his book on the table and stood up to walk over to her. “Look at you go. You know, one day you just might even be a better athlete than me.” He smirked as she shook her head as she stood in front of him. “Nuh uh, you’re like the best.” He laughed and kissed her forehead. “One day you’re going to be big and strong and your’e totally going to be able to kick my butt I know it.” She smiled up at him and crossed her arms over her chest. “Oh I can do that now!” He raised his eyebrow as he back away from her slowly, laughing as she started to chase him around the yard. He couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he ran, wishing that it could always be like this. Him and his sister against the world. He knew that if he always had her, life would be happy, it would be okay. He would be okay.
She looked so fragile. So small. And Mark felt like breaking down right then and there as he recalled the once strong and healthy girl that he once knew. He let go of Kristen’s hand as he walked to her bedside, grateful that Lily was still asleep. He sat down next to her bed, taking his hand lightly in his as he felt the tears fall. “Little duck,” he whispered, ” I know, I know you can’t hear me but I’m here. I always have been. Your big brother has always been here.” He felt more tears fall as he looked at her. Wishing he could take the pain away. “I love you Lily. I love you so much. I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you from anything. I’m so sorry.” Mark found himself falling apart as he dropped his head into his hands and cried, cursing whatever had made him this way. He just wanted to be back. He wanted to be here big brother again. He wanted to stop feeling so empty.
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Loki needs a nap because even misunderstood villains have naps.
Iron Man, play nice.
J.A.R.V.I.S, make sure he does.
I’ll try.
